The Sunday Scaries Are Not About Monday? A psychiatric NP answers why.

Sometimes, the anxiety you feel on Sunday night is your body trying to tell you something your mind keeps avoiding.

Hey ,

We may never have met, but I know what Sunday evening can feel like when the weekend is ending, and your mind has already gone to Monday.

So, for the next few minutes, let’s talk honestly about that heaviness you feel every Sunday and what it may really be trying to tell you.

It was Sunday at 12 pm; you looked at a clock, and your mood changed.

You were okay 10 mins ago. You were coaching, watching TV, and then realized no one was asking you to be anywhere.

Then you remember that email that YOU DIDN’T REPLY TO ON FRIDAY.

You say you will get back to them tomorrow while everything else is holding its breath in the meantime.

The meeting YOU NEVER want to be on. The work you did not finish.

The one that always manages to make you feel like there is something wrong with being you.

You look at your phone, and glance at the calendar.

Monday is full.

Tuesday is worse.

You close it, but it is already too late. You have already left Sunday.

Your body is at home, and your head is at work on Monday morning.

And the feeling that we ppl call Sunday scaries. We joke about it because virtually everyone gets it. However, I do not think most of us actually fear Monday.

Monday is just a day.

What we fear is returning to that person again.

The one who says, “No problem” when it is very much a problem.

Us agreeing to something else just because we really do not want to take a call again that day.

The competent one, making things happen behind the scenes so that no one sees how close we are to falling apart.

And Sunday means that Monday is waiting for us.

I used to believe a different Sunday was the solution.

Clean the house. Prepare meals. Put out clothes. Make a list. Get into bed early.

And there is nothing incorrect about any of that. There’s nothing like Monday morning walking into a relatively clean kitchen to make you feel somewhat organized in what certainly feels like a chaotic world.

Which cannot take away the design of the problem in reality.

Spend Sunday calming me down again, go back on the same schedule, same old horrendous boundaries with people who drain you. The following Sunday, the feeling comes back, and it surprises us.

Of course it is back.

Nothing changed.

I am not saying you should quit your job each time bad Sundays hit. Life is not that simple. You have bills, possibly children, insurance, and other things to take care of that you cannot just abandon because someone online told you to choose peace.

Sometimes you have to go to work when your heart is not in it

But the truth is you do not want to go.

On Monday, there is something that is heavier than the rest. Whether it be a conversation, an errand, or that annoying coworker.

Name that part.

Not the polished answer. Not “I am just stressed.”

What is bothering you?

It could be that your boss keeps asking for more work because you never say no.

Often you have to protect someone who would never waste time with you.

Or perhaps you are sick of pretending to be nice in front of someone who invariably treats you like crap.

Or perhaps just too tired.

Not the kind to be fixed by one good night’s sleep. Rather, you are sick and tired from always being available, helpful, patient, and responsible.

You have been labeled as “The one who is very good at holding things.”

Once you identify what it is that your mind is really obsessing over being and dreading, decide on an action plan to only focus on that specific thing.

You will not be able to cancel the meeting but can stop rehearsing it at 03.00 am,

You may not be ready to make the leap and leave your job, but you can stop pretending that you’re happy there.

In my paid subscription, next Sunday I will lay down step-by-step guidelines that will help you get rid of the Sunday scaries. Continue reading to see what that will look like.