Resentment doesn’t usually show up overnight. It builds slowly. One disappointment at a time.
One unmet expectation at a time. One boundary you didn’t set at a time.
Resentment is what happens when we repeatedly give what we don’t have, say yes when we want to say no, or stay silent about things that hurt us.
Many people think resentment is anger toward someone else.
But often, resentment is also anger toward ourselves.
We resent the friend who continues to cancel plans, not show up for us, does not support us. And it’s because we never spoke up.
We resent the partner who doesn’t meet our needs because we never clearly communicated them.
We resent our family because we keep sacrificing ourselves to keep everyone comfortable.
Underneath resentment is usually grief.
Grief for the love we didn’t receive.
Grief for the support we needed.
Grief for the version of ourselves that felt responsible for everyone else’s happiness.
The hard truth is that resentment is rarely healed by changing other people.
I…
