Decentering Yourself Isn’t About Caring Less
Many people hear the phrase “decenter yourself from someone” and think it means you should stop loving them. That is not what it means.
Decentering yourself from a person means they are no longer the center of your world.
This concept could be considered in friendships and relationships. Their mood does not control your mood.
Their approval does not determine who you are. Their choices do not decide how you feel about yourself.
When someone is at the center of your life, it is easy to lose yourself.
You could find yourself wondering what do they think of me?
Do she/he want to be my friend, or does he/she want to be in a relationship with me?
How they feel, or what you can do to make them happy. Over time, your needs, goals, and dreams can get pushed to the side.
Decentering is about coming back to yourself.
It is asking:
1. What do I need?
What brings me joy?
What kind of life do I want to create?
You can still love someone a lot and not make them your entire world.
Healthy relationships happen when two whole people come together, not when one person disappears to make room for the other.
If you have spent years people-pleasing, seeking approval, or putting everyone else’s needs before your own, decentering may feel uncomfortable at first.
But discomfort does not mean you are doing something wrong.
It means you are learning to make space for yourself again.
You deserve to be a priority in your own life.
Talie Callaos 💚✨
Mental Benefit | Mind. Mood. Movement.