It is knowing when to release what no longer feels reciprocal, kind and life-giving.

It is accepting that not every person you meet will last in your life forever, and that it’s ok but how do we navigate those feelings.

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She told me she was the family’s emotional thermostat. She provided emotional support to her mom and felt deeply responsible for bringing peace when they were in conflict.

She could tell what kind of night it was going to be by the sound of her mom’s keys in the door. Good days were earned. Bad days were her fault.

She was 35. It had never occurred to her that this wasn’t normal. Growing up with a narcissistic parent is a form of childhood trauma.

The hard part is that this kind of childhood is really good at hiding from the person who lived it. So let me describe it, and you can tell me if it sounds familiar.

Love had conditions. When you achieved something, it was to make her look good, and you always tried to keep the peace. When you had needs of your own, the warmth went away. There’s actual research on this. It’s called parental conditional regard, and what it looks like in adults is their self-worth lives and dies by their last accomplishment.

Your reality was always up for debate. “That never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re remembering it wrong.” Hear that enough as a kid and you stop trusting your own mind. This is why grown women sit on my couch and ask me, “Am I overreacting?” about things that would flatten anyone.

You were the parent. You managed her moods. You smoothed things over. Everyone said you were so mature for your age. I need you to know that wasn’t maturity. That was survival.

And your wins were never really yours. They either belonged to her or they threatened her. There was no version where your life got to be just your life.

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We may never have met, but I know what Sunday evening can feel like when the weekend is ending, and your mind has already gone to Monday.

So, for the next few minutes, let’s talk honestly about that heaviness you feel every Sunday and what it may really be trying to tell you.

It was Sunday at 12 pm; you looked at a clock, and your mood changed.

You were okay 10 mins ago. You were coaching, watching TV, and then realized no one was asking you to be anywhere.

Then you remember that email that YOU DIDN’T REPLY TO ON FRIDAY.

You say you will get back to them tomorrow while everything else is holding its breath in the meantime.

The meeting YOU NEVER want to be on. The work you did not finish.

The one that always manages to make you feel like there is something wrong with being you.

You look at your phone, and glance at the calendar.

Monday is full.

Tuesday is worse.

You close it, but it is already too late. You have already left Sunday.

Your body is at home, and your head is at work on Monday morning.

And the feeling that we ppl call Sunday scaries. We joke about it because virtually everyone gets it. However, I do not think most of us actually fear Monday.

Monday is just a day.

What we fear is returning to that person again.

The one who says, “No problem” when it is very much a problem.

Us agreeing to something else just because we really do not want to take a call again that day.

The competent one, making things happen behind the scenes so that no one sees how close we are to falling apart.

And Sunday means that Monday is waiting for us.

I used to believe a different Sunday was the solution.

Clean the house. Prepare meals. Put out clothes. Make a list. Get into bed early.

And there is nothing incorrect about any of that. There’s nothing like Monday morning walking into a relatively clean kitchen to make you feel somewhat organized in what certainly feels like a chaotic world.

Which cannot take away the design of the problem in reality.

Spend Sunday calming me down again, go back on the same schedule, same old horrendous boundaries with people who drain you. The following Sunday, the feeling comes back, and it surprises us.

Of course it is back.

Nothing changed.

I am not saying you should quit your job each time bad Sundays hit. Life is not that simple. You have bills, possibly children, insurance, and other things to take care of that you cannot just abandon because someone online told you to choose peace.

Sometimes you have to go to work when your heart is not in it

But the truth is you do not want to go.

On Monday, there is something that is heavier than the rest. Whether it be a conversation, an errand, or that annoying coworker.

Name that part.

Not the polished answer. Not “I am just stressed.”

What is bothering you?

It could be that your boss keeps asking for more work because you never say no.

Often you have to protect someone who would never waste time with you.

Or perhaps you are sick of pretending to be nice in front of someone who invariably treats you like crap.

Or perhaps just too tired.

Not the kind to be fixed by one good night’s sleep. Rather, you are sick and tired from always being available, helpful, patient, and responsible.

You have been labeled as “The one who is very good at holding things.”

Once you identify what it is that your mind is really obsessing over being and dreading, decide on an action plan to only focus on that specific thing.

You will not be able to cancel the meeting but can stop rehearsing it at 03.00 am,

You may not be ready to make the leap and leave your job, but you can stop pretending that you’re happy there.

In my paid subscription, next Sunday I will lay down step-by-step guidelines that will help you get rid of the Sunday scaries. Continue reading to see what that will look like.

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Seeing your name here might have caught you off guard.

We may be strangers, but I believe the right words can make you feel understood by someone who has never heard your story.

So, for the next few minutes, let’s forget that we’ve never met and talk honestly about the things we usually carry alone.

When there is a problem, I feel the need to do something immediately.

My ego makes me want to act quickly because it makes me feel like I have control over my life.

Instead of sitting in silence to listen to my thoughts, I have to fix the problem as quickly as possible. Staying busy makes me feel safe but empty inside.

I want to keep moving forward, keep working, find solutions, try harder. Many of us feel like this.

We are always busy and still don’t feel like we are going in the right direction, which leads us to feeling empty. We are empty inside because we are not living our passions, our callings, our purpose.

The thought of being truly safe comes when we start to lis…

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Risk Factors and Protective Factors: What’s the Difference?

A risk factor is anything that raises your chances of developing a disease. A protective factor is anything that lowers those chances. Here’s the key thing to remember: having a risk factor does not mean you will get dementia, and avoiding every risk factor is no guarantee you won’t. It’s about tilting the odds in your favor, not certainty.

Things We Can’t Change

Some risk factors are simply out of our hands:

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Two months ago, I became a mother for the first time. I don’t think people talk enough about how much having a child changes you.

It’s almost like you have to grieve the version of yourself that existed before becoming a parent because that version no longer exists. You’re learning how to care for a brand-new human while also getting to know a brand-new version of yourself.

It’s been one of the most challenging seasons of my life, but also one of the most beautiful.

Every day I look at my daughter, Grace, and think, I love you so much. I never knew it was possible to love another person this deeply.

One thing motherhood has taught me is how much free time I actually had before becoming a parent. Now, by the end of the day, I’m trying to squeeze in journaling, exercise, yoga, work, and moments to simply breathe. Time feels different now. It feels more precious.

I also don’t think we talk enough about postpartum anxiety.

We hear about postpartum depression, but postpartum anxiety deserves jus…

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Everyone who begins to do this work brings the same anticipation: that healing is a one-way street.

You think one day you wake up, and the thing that hurts won’t bother you anymore. There will be a before, and an after, and you’ll know the exact moment you felt completely healed.

What I’m going to say may disappoint you at first but it is the most liberating thing you are likely to read today.

That’s not how it works. And the fact that it isn’t working that way for you is not evidence of your failure.

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Decentering yourself from a person means they are no longer the center of your world.

This concept could be considered in friendships and relationships. Their mood does not control your mood.

Their approval does not determine who you are. Their choices do not decide how you feel about yourself.

When someone is at the center of your life, it is easy to lose yourself.

You could find yourself wondering what do they think of me?

Do she/he want to be my friend, or does he/she want to be in a relationship with me?

How they feel, or what you can do to make them happy. Over time, your needs, goals, and dreams can get pushed to the side.

Decentering is about coming back to yourself.

It is asking:

1. 1. What do I need?

2. What brings me joy?

3. What kind of life do I want to create?

You can still love someone a lot and not make them your entire world.

Healthy relationships happen when two whole people come together, not when one person disappears to make room for the other.

If you have spent years people-pleasing, se…

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One unmet expectation at a time. One boundary you didn’t set at a time.

Resentment is what happens when we repeatedly give what we don’t have, say yes when we want to say no, or stay silent about things that hurt us.

Many people think resentment is anger toward someone else.

But often, resentment is also anger toward ourselves.

We resent the friend who continues to cancel plans, not show up for us, does not support us. And it’s because we never spoke up.

We resent the partner who doesn’t meet our needs because we never clearly communicated them.

We resent our family because we keep sacrificing ourselves to keep everyone comfortable.

Underneath resentment is usually grief.

Grief for the love we didn’t receive.

Grief for the support we needed.

Grief for the version of ourselves that felt responsible for everyone else’s happiness.

The hard truth is that resentment is rarely healed by changing other people.

I…

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One of the topics I wanted to talk about this week is how the Western diet is filled with ultra-processed foods. So many of the foods and drinks we consume have a lot of added sugar, and it feels like everything is made to be sweeter than it really needs to be. Research has shown that ultra-processed foods, especially foods high in refined sugars, are associated with an increased risk of depression.

With that in mind, I wanted to talk about something called the Dietary Inflammatory Index. This is basically a way of measuring how likely your diet is to contribute to inflammation in the body. Diets with a higher inflammatory potential have been associated with a higher risk of depression.

So where am I getting this information, and what does the data tell us? Studies have shown about a 33% increase in the risk of developing depression among people who consume more inflammatory diets.

What exactly are ultra-processed foods? These can include things like artificially sweetened bev…

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The reality is that many people do not change simply because we want them to. Some may never acknowledge their behavior, take accountability, or develop the emotional maturity we hope for.

Waiting for them to become different can leave you feeling frustrated, disappointed, and emotionally exhausted.

Instead, consider focusing on these questions:

1. Can I accept this person as they are today, not who I hope they become?

2. What boundaries do I need to protect my peace?

3. What expectations are realistic for this relationship?

4. How much access should this person have to my time, energy, and emotions?

When they show you who they are believe them.

For example:

1. If someone is consistently unreliable, stop expecting reliability from them.

2. If someone struggles with emotional intimacy, stop looking to them for deep emotional support.

3. If someone repeatedly violates boundaries, strengthen your boundaries r…

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You keep calling yourself lazy because you can’t “just start.”

But your brain has learned to wait for:
panic, pressure, urgency, fear, guilt, or consequences…

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Not unmotivated.

Not “bad with time.”

Just… undiagnosed.

Because ADHD in women doesn’t always look OBVIOUS.
It looks like overthinking everything.
Starting your day already overwhelmed.
Needing pressure just to function.
Being “high-achieving”… but exhausted behind the scenes.

And for years, sometimes decades, you build your identity around coping instead of understanding.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

ADHD doesn’t always show up as hyperactivity.
Sometimes it shows up as mental paralysis.
You know what to do… but you can’t get yourself to do it.

ADHD doesn’t mean you can’t focus.
It means your focus is inconsistent.
You can hyperfocus for hours on the wrong thing…
and avoid the one thing that actually matters.

ADHD doesn’t mean you’re disorganized.
It means you’re constantly trying to fix disorganization.
New planners. New routines. New systems.
That work… for about 3 days.

ADHD doesn’t mean you don’t care.
It usually means you care too much.
Which is why the guilt hits so hard when you can’t follow t…

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You’ve had the whole day to do something…
but somehow you only start when the pressure hits.

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Why You Feel Stuck Even When You Care:

You’re not lazy.
You’re not unmotivated.
So why can’t you start?

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Attraction isn’t always about what’s healthy.
It’s often about what your body already knows.

If you grew up around:

emotional inconsistency

unpredictability

having to “earn” love

Then calm, available love can feel… uncomfortable.

Not because it’s wrong.
But because it’s unfamiliar.

So your nervous system says:
“This feels like home.”
Even if that “home” was emotionally unstable.

You’re trying to win the love you didn’t receive

There’s a belief many women carry:

“If I can just love them enough, they’ll choose me.”

This isn’t desperation.
It’s unhealed emotional wound

You may be subconsciously trying to:

finally feel chosen

finally feel enough

finally feel secure

But here’s the truth:

You cannot heal a wound by recreating it.

The anxious and avoidant cycle

This dynamic is one of the most common patterns:

You crave closeness → they pull away.

They pull away → you try harder.

You try harder → they distance more

And suddenly, you’re stuck in a cycle that feels intense, addictive, and confusing.

That intensity?
It’s of…

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Before you were 18, your environment was shaping more than just your memories it was shaping your nervous system, your beliefs, and your long-term health.

This is where the ACE Score comes in.

What is an ACE Score?

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